Dealing With Terrible Roommates
by confetticas
Summary: ...and other ways college is awesome. Or, Gabriel is a slob, and Adam has ways to deal with this.


**Dealing With Terrible Roommates, And Other Ways College Is Awesome**

* * *

It's about fifty thousand times worse than sharing a room with Sam. Gabriel is of course an entirely different brand of obnoxious and painful to live with, but still. In Adam's opinion, it's downright impressive that it's even _possible_to be a worse roommate than Sam.

Adam hasn't even been gone for a full forty-eighty hours, and there are dishes stacked precariously at least a foot high, so many candy wrappers that Adam can't honestly see a single surface of the apartment, and Gabriel is sprawled across the couch in nothing more than a pair of bright red boxers with lips all over them, watching… Dr. Sexy? Christ, and Adam had been so certain that he'd _finally_escaped that stupid show.

"Gabriel," he complains exasperatedly, trying to stop a place on the floor 'clean' enough to drop his bag.

Gabriel glances up and grins widely. "C'mon in, take a seat. I'm exercising my right not to be a clean freak."

Adam closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, silently counting to ten. "Haven't you ever heard of a happy medium?" he asks, aggravated. "There is something you could do that doesn't involve being a clean freak _or_a disgusting slob, you know. How can you even stand to live like this?"

Gabriel shrugs, unbothered and visibly amused. "It just doesn't bug me."

"Right. Of course it doesn't," Adam mutters in annoyance. "Well, it bugs me, and it isn't my mess, so get up and help me clean, _please_."

"But this is a new episode!" Gabriel protests with wide eyes, looking absolutely horrified by the thought of missing it.

Adam crosses his arms, unimpressed. "I _know_you're DVRing it, and you should've thought about that before you trashed the apartment. I wasn't even gone two whole days, how did you even manage this?"

"I did what _normal_ people do on long weekends, you know, like _absolutely nothing I didn't have to do_," Gabriel snarks back, tossing a Junior Mint into the air and catching it in his mouth. "I'll help in," Gabriel pauses, pulls out his cell phone, hits a button, and finishes with a grin, "Thirty two minutes. Plus a little extra for scenes from next week."

"…what did I do to deserve you?" Adam gripes unhappily, finally settling on putting his bag on the floor by the couch. "I mean, it must've been abso-fucking-lutely terrible. It's not like I'm asking you to keep your room clean, just… contain your tornado _to_your room."

"Yeah, yeah," Gabriel says distractedly, sitting up and leaning forward, staring at the TV intently. A second later, he rocks back, shocked. "Did… Did…" he turns to look at Adam, horrified. "Did you _see_that?"

Adam rolls his eyes almost affectionately. "Yes, I saw that," he agrees dryly. "You weren't hallucinating, it really happened, and frankly, it's considerably unlikely that anyone will even remember it three episodes from now."

Gabriel scowls at him. "But did you _see_it?"

Adam abandons his mission to pick up all of the candy wrappers in favorite of joining his oh-so obnoxious roommate in the living room, pushing Gabriel's feet out of his way and plopping down onto the couch. "I know you don't want to hear this right now, but Dr. Sexy is a fictional character, and his sex life will not affect your actual life in the slightest."

"But, but," Gabriel starts to protests, hands flailing wildly as he works himself up to a rant about how very important Dr. Sexy's fictional sex life actually is.

Adam stares for about half a second, feeling so deeply, truthfully horrified by the prospect of enduring the six thousandth Dr. Sexy Is So Very Important rant of his lifetime that he goes just a little bit crazy, leans over and presses his lips to Gabriel's. If nothing else, it will shut him up for a few minutes, right?

Gabriel freezes in shock and then grins and kisses back enthusiastically. "Well," he says, still grinning stupidly when Adam pulls away. "Are you going to do that every time I try to talk about Dr. Sexy?"

"Shut. Up." Adam complains, rolling his eyes affectionately and tugging on Gabriel's arm to pull him up off the couch. "I have far better things for you to be doing than pitching a fit over a fictional character's fictional sex life. Like maybe participating in _your_actual sex life. My room is still clean, right?"

Gabriel grins and practically bounces up off the couch, jumping over candy wrappers and soda cans and assorted other garbage littering their floor to reach Adam's room.

Adam rolls his eyes, following at a much more sedate pace, grinning and silently plotting all kinds of new and interesting ways to force Gabriel to clean up after himself, at least a little bit more than this.

Sam was right. College is awesome.


End file.
